Holy Matrimony … and the sacred religion of motherhood, I pray to thee that I never have to doubt that ever!!

When I attended to this story from Pune that a sixty-year old lady had delivered twins in Ruby Hall clinic, I wasn’t at all curious. Such deliveries happen almost everyday. What made be inquisitive was that this twin babies were actually for the daughter of this lady.

The daughter, a cancer patient, wanted to be pregnant … and doctors advised surrogacy because of her medical conditions.

And they chose the mother to carry the foetuses of the daughter. They did not want anyone from outside the family to volunteer the pregnancy.

Even if we consider that all adult women are conceivable, more or less, it seems a very interesting debate to involve the biological mother of an adult to carry the fertilisation. With very limited knowledge of in-vitro-fertilisation, it is assumed that this also requires the sperms and the eggs.

And I suppose, they were from the daughter and the son-in-law.

I prefer to suggest that surrogacy has to evolve, beyond the whims and fantasies of the modern day lifestyle. Let us consider the mental angle, for God’s sake. How can a normal person feel satisfied just by donating the genes and discard the cooking … if I may be allowed to think that way?

Isn’t it time to also honour this ‘cooking’? And if I may be allowed to enter this aspect in the debate, the child is really not from the donated eggs and the sperms alone!

How, I wish, the world was such a simple place!!

Let me take the first aspect, how does the grandma feel to part with babies that were born ‘out of her’? I guess, and it is just that, she must have developed a bond towards these babies. After all, she was the person who bore them. From whatever little experience I have, pregnant women get very attached to the baby bore by them.

Assuming surrogacy denies this bond in lieu of something else, she is still part of the family, and may be privy to seeing these babies grow!

How will she react? Should we assume that she will be oblivious to the bond that took place for nine-months for these babies?

The second aspect is purely social … and has got to do with the relationships. Again, the matter is purely circumstantial and you may simply discard it as a banal suggestion.

In case these twins were delivered by the mother of the daughter, how can the daughter treat them as her children?

Without a mental aspect, relationships don’t grow. We are none to nobody if we decide to be procreating physically and do not consider the relational implications. Relations are borne out of the logical mind … and we define hierarchies and links based on such logicality.

We make sure at the onset that the woman who bears the child is the mother and the biological male person responsible for the birth is the father … and that defines a great lot of twists and twines … with uncles, aunts … to grandpas, grandmas and grandsons ….

In this regard, if we are taking surrogacy in such a simplified way, where do we stand to honour our logical brain?